This beautiful exchange

The other day, I was running errands with Lucy and I heard an advertisement on the radio for a debt counseling program. The voice-over guy said something like, “Are you struggling to get out from that credit card debt? Don’t worry, it’s not your fault! Those big credit card companies do everything they can to keep you in debt!” And, it goes on to say that by buying the cds for this “program” you will set yourself free from those big, bad credit cards.

I’m sorry, I have to sternly disagree. It IS your fault. You made the decision to buy things that increased your credit card bill beyond what you could afford. You knew what you were getting into when you signed on the line to receive your credit card. Nobody forced you rack up thousands of dollars on that thing. You probably didn’t immediately need the flat screen television, trip to the day spa, $400 shoes or new computer.

Tony and I are into year two of paying down debt accumulated through stupid decisions. It is completely OUR FAULT and no one else’s. It is OUR FAULT that we failed to plan ahead for unseen circumstances. And, we are paying for it, in more ways than one. It’s been a painful process as we’ve learned to tell the difference between what we want and what we need. We’ve had to make some serious sacrifices and put a lot of desires on hold. There is finally light at the end of the tunnel, but the trick is to continue to keep things in check so that these lessons really stick with us.

You know, I don’t think we really had a handle on things until we got to the point where we were able to admit that it was completely our fault. Admitting that not only freed us to pay off the debt, but also puts us in a much better relationship with money so that we have the tools we need to avoid making the same bad decisions.

It irritates me that our society is so focused on blaming someone else when something goes ‘bad’ in our lives. There ALWAYS has to be a ‘condition’ or a ‘conspiracy’. Sometimes, it’s freeing to finally admit that we were wrong and we are to blame. It’s not always easy to accept the responsibility, but it’s always the best way to make a change.